Thursday, July 25, 2013

Thankful Thursday: The D.O.C.

My Thankful Thursday topic today is the D.O.C. , the Diabetes Online Community.

I only started blogging back in March of this year. In the beginning of the year we were moving towards me getting on the pump which was a huge change. February is when I got it, and it was like being diagnosed all over again. It was like my eyes were all of the sudden opened after having T1 for 4 ½ years, it all of the sudden became more real. Firing my old endo after having a consolation with my perinatologist and then meeting with my now CDE, it was as if, or maybe even worse than when I was first diagnosed. I think in one way it was because it was then that I was realizing that I hadn't been doing all that I thought I was for my health and diabetes for those 4 ½ years like I thought I was. I felt like a failure, it hit me that this is forever and not going away. With all of this, I felt like I was being pulled into a dark hole and didn't know how to stop or if I would be able to get out. I don’t want to say that I was depressed, but I was getting pretty close to it. I remember it was March 16th and we stopped by the grocery store after going downtown for the St. Patrick’s Day race. I was in the checkout line and Brad had gone to grab one last thing while I waited in line. When he came back he had a magazine in hand, Diabetic Living, and asked if I wanted it, it has some yummy looking recipe on the front so I flipped through it and said sure. It was in this magazine that I found an article on Kim @ www.textingmypancrease.com. The magazine had a section where they had talked to people who were making an impact in the lives of PWD (People with diabetes). She was talking about her story, and about the DOC. So I found her site and immediately became obsessed! As I read through her blogs it was the first time in those 4 ½ years that I finally felt like I wasn't completely alone in this. My heart felt like it was about to break out of my chest as the tears of loneliness ran down my cheeks. I felt validated for the first time for all my thoughts, feelings and emotions about this disease. I realized I wasn't weak, I wasn't dumb, I wasn't taking things too seriously, I wasn't a failure and again, most importantly I wasn't alone, I wasn't the only one. As I read her blogs somewhere along the way I found others, Kerri @ www.sixuntilme.com, Reva @ www.typeonderful.blogspot.com, Laura @ http://a1conceive.wordpress.com/ and so many others. I started blogging myself, I think before I even found any of the other blogs. Kim’s was the only one at the time and the one that inspired me. When I started blogging I thought of it as way to let things out, a way to vent without always letting it out on my husband or just holding it in. It was also a way to educate family and friends around me. Since it had been years, I think people around me just didn't think anything of it, especially since I never really talked that much about the “D”, at least not like I do now. So I created this blog partially to educate others around me because it’s hard to bring up my lovely friend “D” to my other friends most of the time, but I want, no….. I NEED others around me to understand this. So with these reasons, those are why I started this blog, never expecting to really get connected with other T1’s or even really find anyone else out there other than Kim’s blog. That’s where I was in for an unexpected, much needed surprise. I found the D.O.C. and it has been my saving grace! I may never come into physical contact with any of these people, I may not ever have my own huge following, it may just be a couple of other T1’s that I connect with, but that’s okay. I read so many on my own and sometimes this is enough to encourage and inspire me. I never joined a support group because I was afraid that it would be something like what I've seen on TV or movies where everyone sits around crying all the time. Yes, I cry, but I don’t want to be brought down, I need to be lifted up and that’s what happens when I read others stories. They may all be different and unique but at the same time we are all the same. So that’s what I’m thankful for today, I’m thankful for a place where I know I’m understood and not alone.

15 comments:

  1. Hard not to smile reading this. Glad you found "us" :)

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    1. I just went to your blog and watched the YouTube video "bithcy resting face", it's so funny and true. Maybe my problem half the time.

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  2. You are most definitely not alone. And this is exactly how I felt when I found the DOC. Glad you're here!

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  3. Mmmm. This. Welcome to the wonderful world of the DOC! Your story is similar to mine and so many others around here. So happy you could join us!

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  4. I'm so glad you found the DOC and I'm so glad that you are a part of our family!

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  5. So glad you found us! I have a very similar story, except I was dx'd in '92.. and I ran across Kerri's blog first (but found Kim's very soon after.) The DOC has changed my life. I know exactly what you mean - I felt like a veil had been lifted. For almost 20 years, I'd felt so incredibly alone. I didn't know any other diabetics, except for some who were much older than me, so 17 yr old me at the time, couldn't exactly relate. And once I found the DOC, I went through emotions from being so incredibly happy, to very low, thinking I'd been failing for the past 20 years. I've had some great friends in the DOC remind me that I can't change the past.. all I can do is take care of myself NOW and look forward, not backwards. Some days that's easier said than done.. but it definitely helps to have friends that also live with this disease 24/7 know what I'm going through and can give me relatable advice. :)
    Sorry that was so long winded, but excited to have found your blog - and welcome!! :)

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    1. Thanks for replying, I don't mind that it was long at all. :)

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  6. I couldn't have said it better. Finding the DOC is life changing in the most positive way! I am glad you're here with us. (hugs)

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  7. The DOC makes such a HUGE difference in living with diabetes in all the ups and downs. We celebrate together when things are going great and commiserate (but never blame) when BGs or A1Cs aren't what you want.

    Welcome to the DOC. #dblogcheck

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  8. Your experience is our experience with the DOC. And chances are that you will meet some of us in person because we just can't stay away from each other! I've bookmarked your blog and look forward to hearing more of your story.

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  9. The D-OC is such a lifesaver for so many. I've been blogging for over 6 years (though not nearly as often as I used to anymore), and it's brought me friends who understand and people who have turned into some of my best friends IN SPITE of the fact we both have diabetes.
    I felt like you before I found Kerri's blog and stumbled into this world.
    I'm glad you found it too.

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  10. I love how most of us stumble onto the DOC by accident. I was there on the day that Kim had the photoshoot for the magazine - check the back page for my picture :D

    Just wait a few years until you can't remember life without all of us!

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