Thursday, June 27, 2013
I'm kicking it off with my first Thankful Thursaday......My hubby
When I really think about it there are a lot of things to be thankful for in this day and age when it comes to diabetes. I'm starting out with my hubby because he is my greatest support system next to the D.O.C. and diabetes was kind of a match maker between us. We met 5 years ago, only 3 months before I was diagnosed. It was a year and a half after my diagnosis before we started dating but we became really good friends for about a year before we starting dating. If I had not developed the "D" I would have gone away for training to eventually live and work in a third world country with the expectation of working in an orphanage. It was exactly a month before I was to leave for traing that I went to the doctor and was diagnosed. That diagnosis of course completely changed my life, but it kept me here where I needed to be in order to get to marry my bestfriend. He is learning right along with me and probably more than I know.He can tell when I'm high, not sure if he can when I'm low or not. Recently we were out with some people, my BG was pretty high but I was trying to act like I felt fine and he could tell I didn't. He asked if my bg was high and I asked how he could. He said he could tell by the way I was zoning out when I was trying to listen to someone talk, my eyes just get this glassy red look, kinda like they are going to bug out and the way I kept blinking to keep them open because the high had me really sleepy. Good to know because until then I didn't know that happened when I was running a high. This is just a small example of his attentiveness that I'm thankful for.
Wednesday, June 26, 2013
Tuesday, June 25, 2013
I've been pretty open to the fact that I started on the pump and have made other steps towards getting this T1 body of mine baby ready. I have know idea what God has in store or how far off that is. With making all these changes and seeing friends post their preggers pics on Face Book it's kinda hard to not think about what the future holds. I'm terrified in so many ways. I know every woman has fears about their first pregnancy but I don't know anyone else who has all of mine. There is the thought more often than not wondering if trying to get pregnant would be a selfish thing. What if my bg's harm the baby, what if it seems fine in the womb but then is born with something awful! I'd never forgive myself. As I put those fears aside in creep more. All I have ever wanted for as long as I can remember is to be a wife, and a stay at home mom. Its my dream. In an age when more women seem to have careers and take their children to babysitters or daycare my dream seems to be odd to most. I don't judge or condemn those moms. It works for them. I have to say, I don't know how they do it, but somehow they do. I don't have a baby yet and I already most of the time feel like I can't keep up on things and I'm failing. So add a baby to the mix and that scares me. As upset as I can get right now when thinking about or talking being a working mom I can't imagine how I will be when I'm pregnant. That thought of going back to work already kills me. I don't hate my job by any means, but I'm afraid I might when a baby is involved. I know this may all be premature, but its on my mind a lot. Dang "D"! Feels like its going to keep me working to the day I die!
Disclaimer: These thoughts in no way whatsoever are a reflection on my husband or his job. He has a great job, and a great boss and we are truly blessed. I have to work in order to obtain health insurance. Brad does an amazing job providing for me as I know he will when we have a little one. If you don't know us you would never know by looking at us that he is the thrift store king! Almost our entire wardrobes are from thrift stores but you would never guess it because he finds all name brands. Our furniture in our house is thrift store, or craigslist. He has an amazing gift that way! I wouldn't trade being married to someone who's health insurance would take me at all.
Friday, June 21, 2013
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
Today...... Not so much, back to a day of being reminded I'm diabetic. Woke up at 86, which I thought was a great sign, but then after breakfast and into lunch I stayed between 145-185. After lunch in the 200's no matter how much I kept bolusing and finally got down to 105 before dinner. But I like seeing the dots on yesterday! It can happen, maybe next time it will be sooner than 4 1/2 years.
Friday, June 14, 2013
Ok, this is going to be a short and sweet one for today.
1. Trying to be patient as others don't understand that if I'm told we are going to eat in 5 minutes it had better be. 45 minutes later after taking my insulin and having to down candy and praying I don't have an episode.... Really quite scary.
2. I'm loving my clutch I won thru textingmypancreas.com. It's awesome! I'll post more on that later.
3. Still nervous about going low during the wedding I'm in tomorrow. I didn't even feel I was down to 45 last night at rehearsal dinner before eating. That was scary on top of bolusing and not eating for about 45 minutes later.
4. Got more test strips for my one touch. Kinda bummed cuz I would love to continue using my Bayer one that works with my pump, but insurance doesn't cover enough so back to the one touch.
5. Had a conversation with a complete stranger the other day about diabetes when she saw my bag and I told her that it had special compartments. That was kinda a cool conversation.
That's all for today folks.
Wednesday, June 12, 2013
Monday, June 10, 2013
Saturday was the first time I wore my pump so that it was so visible. I had it attached to my skirt waistband not covered up. Then, the next first, I was asked if it was a walky talky. That was funny. Today had been a first in a REALLY long time of almost perfect bg, at least perfect for a t1d. Hope I didn't just jinks it!
On a totally seperate note, I'm in a wedding on Saturday and even though I've been in a few others including my own since being diagnosed I'm nervous because of all of the lows that I've had lately. I think I'm going to use my temp basal setting on my pump for the ceremony to hopefully avoid any issues. So I guess it will be another first for me. First time in a wedding with my pump. My amazing mother inlaw sewed a secret pocket into my dress for me so that I have easy acess to my pump. Yay for firsts!!!!
Saturday, June 8, 2013
Going to a bachelorette party and I really don't want to have to hike up my skirt in the bathroom stall when I need access to it or go boobie fishing at the table so this is my solution. Wearing my battery operated pancreas on the outside for all to see.
Friday, June 7, 2013