Wednesday, June 12, 2013
Oh You're Brave
"Oh you're brave!" or some variation is a somewhat common thing to hear. I find this odd. I'm not offended by it, just find it to be somewhat strange that doing the things I have to do in order to live would be considered brave. It's kinda ironic to me. Because you see as a teen I struggled with some pretty hard core depression, I mean I was suicidal and thought about killing myself almost every day for most of my teens. If I had been diagnosed as a teen with diabetes I could almost guarantee that I wouldn't be here. I'm pretty sure that I would have neglected to take insulin or given myself too much. Now though, and even before being diagnosed with the "D" at age 25 I cherish this life. So if sticking my finger 10 times a day is brave......If giving myself shots in my stomach 5 times a day is brave.... If wearing an insulin pump is brave..... If wearing my pump openly is brave..... If talking openly about this disease in order for those around me to gain a better understanding is brave.....If writing this blog is brave.....If contemplating pregnancy is brave..... If getting my body and bgs baby ready is brave.......If going through a pregnancy despite the chances of miscarriage, birth defects, and the other "bad" odds there are as a T1D will make me brave.......Then okay I guess. For me and all the others out there like me, I guess you could say we are brave. I think that anyone else that deals with all of this would agree with me that it's about living life. Yes all the daily "D" management is highly annoying at times, but it's a fact of our lives and something we have to live with and deal with to the best of our abilities in order to live the best quality of life possible for as long as possible. It amazes me when people have told me they could never give themselves a shot when they find out that's what I've had to do. If they had a choice between death and a needle I'm pretty sure they would choose the needle. If they were sick enough with high BG long enough, they'd choose the needles. Maybe there would be crying and it take 20 minutes in the doctor's office holding that needle to the stomach before following through with it (that was what I did), but shots would be chosen. It's about doing my best not to let this disease hold me back and to live my life to the fullest that I possibly can. So if that's brave, then okay! I'm brave!