Monday, July 15, 2013

Happy Dance (With A Little Dash of Guilt)

Thursday was my doctor’s appointment, I have yet to get a referral and make an appointment with a new endo. I did however get my test results back for my hypothyroid and my A1C. Before I go any further let me explain what exactly an A1C test is for those of you reading that do not know.

“The A1C test gives you a picture of your average blood glucose control for the past 2 to 3 months. The results give you a good idea of how well your diabetes treatment plan is working.
In some ways, the A1C test is like a baseball player's season batting average, it tells you about a person's overall success. Neither a single day's blood test results nor a single game's batting record gives the same big picture.

How Does it Work?
Hemoglobin, a protein that links up with sugars such as glucose, is found inside red blood cells. Its job is to carry oxygen from the lungs to all the cells of the body. Glucose enters your red blood cells and links up (or glycates) with molecules of hemoglobin. The more glucose in your blood, the more hemoglobin gets glycated. By measuring the percentage of A1C in the blood, you get an overview of your average blood glucose control for the past few months. Your doctor should measure your A1C level at least twice a year.”

I pulled this explanation from the American Diabetes Association website:

Now that’s out of the way………. My thyroid came back great, no need to increase my meds. Yay! Now onto the BIG ONE!!!!

Drum roll please……..BBBBBBDDDDDDRRRRRRRRRmmmmmmmmmm


Wait what? Come again? What did you say Ms. Nurse? Are you sure the numbers are not backwards and it’s not 7.5???? REALLY? Truly?! You’re not lying?????

I really didn't ask any of that, I was too stunned! I think I may have said, “Really, for real?” but I was pretty much speechless. She of course said keep up the hard work and continue doing whatever it is that I’m doing. I didn't know if I should get up and hoop and holler, yell and scream, laugh or cry. Work was loud, I called from my desk at work, there was drama and work issues going on around me and I knew that no one would appreciate my excitement anyway. No one other than another T1D can possibly understand. Also, only another T1 can possibly understand the guilt that has followed. Yes, I said guilt. I hesitate to publish this and let my fellow DOCers read this, because that makes me feel bad knowing how hard ya’ll are trying to get lower than 7 in order to try and have babies, and just take care of yourselves, I feel a little bad knowing and understanding your struggles. Then the other guilt kicks in…. I've been having a crap ton of lows, so is that why I’m at 5.7, a number that I should be celebrating??? As a “D” I always hear about the severe long term affects of an A1C of 8 and higher, that’s nothing new. But recently I heard something regarding the long term affects of lots of lows. I have yet to really read up on that, and I really should take time out and do so, but I just haven’t. I really shouldn't be taking time out to write this, but it’s all going round and round in my head like a merry-go-round. So the guilt comes into play regarding the lows. What’s going on to my internal organs being low so much of the time? I mean, since getting my pump pretty close to fine tuned, over the last few weeks I seem to catch myself at a low before I reach below 60, I am able to feel them coming on, so is being low all the time not so bad? I dunno. So as much as I want to laugh with glee and delight at this fantabulouse number, I also wanted to cry. I still do want to do both, but have yet to really do either.

 So in that case I'm going to choose to take this baby's advice, because really, this is more of a reason to smile about anything diabetes related that I've had in a long time!


  1. 5.7 is amazing!! Seriously!! Unfortunately, diabetes comes with a lot of guilt, and the lows obviously aren't great, but celebrate that number because it's still an accomplishment! Congrats!