Friday's Fives

I'm stealing this idea from another blogger that I follow. Five random diabetes facts on Friday.

1. Finger pricks...in the beginning when I first started checking my bg I would just stick my thumb since I really don't type with it. Last several months I have moved onto other fingers because my thumb was getting too calloused and tough. Now on the finger next to my pinky I just counted 13 red dots. Guess I tend to hit the same places on my fingers and will need to switch to my right hand soon.

2. Site changes...I know I'm new to being a pumper, but after reading others blogs looks like I'm developing some of the not greatest habits already. Not changing my site on my tummy as often add I should. Its expensive for supplies! Regardless of insurance.

3. Sex... Ok, gonna be blunt, and really surprised none of my friends or sisters have asked yet. No, I remove the pump before it's time. Kind killed the feeling in the beginning but now it's kinda just routine and a little like a " Hey babe, how you doing?"

4. Test strips... How can the insurance co really dictate how many test strips I need? Not having a CGM I'm testing about ten times a day now! For one, I gotta be on top of what my body is doing in order to be getting body baby ready, for two......I need to check before walking or working out. For three What is really cheaper United Healthcare? Paying for more test strips because I'm trying to stay in healthy range or dialysis for my kidneys? You tell me.

5. New candy, I need a new candy to treat my lows. Getting sick of starbursts. I'm gonna have to go get some gummies of some sort.

Jump Around Jump Around All Up And Down

Disclaimer……This is going to be a somewhat scattered blog post today.

Memorial day weekend, went a whole lot better than expected BG wise. I wrote on our trip on our way out of town that it had been a wonkey kinda day. Highs all morning, lows all afternoon, evening was a mixture of both. Latter on when I was thinking over the day, I at first thought that maybe it had been a clogged infusion set or canula, which I changed right before lunch in the car. Then I remembered that I was really low before we left the house to hit the road. So I guess it was just one of those bad days. It was a pretty sucky "D" day. I broke down that night in the hotel room after discovering that I had forgotten not only the thigh pouch thingy that I sleep with to keep my pump in, but that I forgot my thyroid medication as well. A day of despising my body, but as I cried to my hubby as he held me, I wasn't hating my body the way most women hate theirs. When I think about it, if only it were that simple. Health problems to me seemed so much worse at that moment and many others, than weight, freckles, pimples no boobs, too big of boobs, or feeling ugly  like so many woman struggle with. Not saying I haven’t’ had my ugly feeling days. I've had plenty of those myself. So, I (we, hubby and I since he held me as I literally cried that night.) got through that crummy day and enjoyed the rest of the weekend. I think we did pretty well eating considering it was a holiday weekend and being out of town. My BG wasn't too awfully horrible. I have seriously the best in-laws ever and really dislike being far away from Brad’s brother and his family. This weekend was another reminder of why I’m trying so hard to take care of myself to the best of my abilities.

                                        Me and hubby on the left, bro and sister in law on the right 

Niece and nephew on the bottom playing with their mud pie maker that we got them and then showing me their tattoos.

Now, onto my next thoughts…… I’m pretty old school, I like hard copies of things, paper and books, calendars and note pads/books. I have a tablet, but prefer a real book. I bought a couple of journals at Office Depot for real cheap because they are closing down. I got two and a pocket calendar for $7.00!!! Can’t really beat that. Plan was to use the journals as a food/BG/Carb log and I bought two because I couldn't decide which one I like best. They are both bigger and heavier than the small thin one that came with my pump, and that one I have used up already. I try really hard to use the journal I decided on, but I haven’t used it in a week. Last night……. HELLO TECHNOLOGY!!! I found an app on my phone for BG logging! Although it’s only been a day, not even 24 hrs I have to say that it’s pretty fantastic! I have to give the credit to the hubs thought because he is the one that originally told me I should see if there is an app instead of doing it on paper.

                                                    I can even get to Face Book from the app.

                                      I can check out how things were looking on a certain day

                                     I can put in not only my BG but what I ate and how many carbs....

And the my fav so far is the graph that shows what my average BG is for however many times I checked that day. So far between yesterday and today my average BG is 128. No so bad.

Next topic, last night I had some pretty great reactions to my pump. I caught a friend of a friend just staring at my pump which was in the pocket of my shorts. Her eyes looked like they were going to bug out of her head. I told her what it was and she was like “I know what it is but why did you get that? I knew you gave yourself shots in your butt so why did you switch? Are you getting sick?” Really? Yes, she really did say that. By the way, I have never given myself shots in my butt, always my stomach. I don’t mind what she said nor was I offended just simply amused at the look on her face and the comment about shots in the butt. Don’t know why I find that so funny but I do. I simply told her that we decided that it would be best for my health and that it did seem to be helping out and going quite well. It wasn't really the right setting to get into the whole, “Oh, it’s because we are trying to get my body baby ready and it’s really the best option for getting and staying pregnant.” Yeah, wasn't the best time for that and any questions to follow.

 Then there was a little boy who caught me checking my blood. His reaction was “You are diabetic?!” He was like 10 maybe, so you know he has to know someone who is because even most adults wouldn't have a clue what I was doing.  I said yes as I pulled out my pump and bolused to get my sugar down a bit. I asked him who he knew that was diabetic and he said is cousin who is close to his age. He was fascinated by the pump. Asking if it hurt, where the insulin was stored how it knew what to do. It was a bit of a show and tell, and it was nice to have innocent and curious questions asked.

Road Trip

Is it possible to over pack on the "D" supplies for a trip? NO!!!! Going to Kansas City this weekend and its the first trip we have taken since I've been on the pump. Before all i really worried about was my insulin pens and meter pack that contained my test strips and a couple granola bars. Now I had to have extra infusion sets and some replacement reservoirs. Guess what I hadn't checked, the extra sets in my purse. I thought I was good to go on those but I wasn't, I used the reservoir and infusion set that was in my purse, except for the actual canula set and forgot to put in a replacement. Only figured that out as we were getting out of the drive through at Chick Fila. (I had an extra of the ones I like in my bag and the evil one.)I was already having issues with my pump. I figured if I really didn't have enough insulin left my pump would stop and give me an error, it didn't but just kept going like it was full and I knew I was out. Another learning experience. Today has been just a fantastic T1D day! High all morning, in the 250's couldn't come down. Looked at the calendar and figure that's how things will go for a week. Next week my little "friend" will be coming to visit so wonderful harmons will wack things out. Then this after noon my theme song should be "How Low Can You Go". At least its a three day weekend and we get to spend it with the best inlaws a girl could ask for! :) Can't wait to see my little cuties!!! Lets hope the weather holds out for the zoo tomorrow and I have no "D" issues there.

D-Blog Week Day #7 Favorite Posts

I feel like a turd. I honestly totally forgot about blogging on this last day of Dblog week. Sorry for any of you fellow Dbloggers reading this. I'm kinda throwing it together and on my phone none the less. Todays topic was three favorite posts. That's really too hard. I've found so many new favorite blogs to read, the whole week was so encouraging for me to read what others are going through just like me. I'll keep going back through them all for the next several weeks I'm sure. I really don't think I can name just three. Six Until Me, Below Seven, A1 Conceive,
TypeWonerful, Silverlinning, and of course Bittersweet Diabetes just to name a few. Favorite topics: achievements, the petition one that I didn't not write in, and memories. All so great and totally lifted my spirits this week. I'm going to keep on trecking this diabetic journey knowing for a fact I'm not the only one. Thanks everyone who participated, I'm glad I got to peak into your lives, and I plan to keep peaking.

To see the other links http://www.blenza.com/linkies/links.php?owner=dblogweek&postid=02May2013b

Yes I Did

Earlier in the week I posted that for D-blog week that I was overcoming the shame of diabetes. Right now I'm at my sisters college graduation. She is getting her bachelors! First in our fam, kinda a big deal! Sorry, just a side note. Anyway, just went to the restroom, and only another pumper will understand this. This is the first time when coming out of the bathroom stall I've left my pump attached to the sleeve of my shirt. Usually I stick it back in my pocket to hide it before washing my hands. Yes, I know gross right. But this time I didn't. Got some weird looks, no questions, but if I had I would have been more willing to talk about it.

D-Blog Day #6 Diabetes Art

D-Blog Day #6 

Click for the Diabetes Art - Saturday 5/18 Link List
This year Diabetes Art moves up from the Wildcard choices as we all channel our creativity with art in the broadest sense. Do some “traditional” art like drawing, painting, collage or any other craft you enjoy. Or look to the literary arts and perhaps write a d-poem or share and discuss a favorite quote. Groove to some musical arts by sharing a song that inspires you diabetes-wise, reworking some song lyrics with a d-twist, or even writing your own song. Don’t forget dramatic arts too, perhaps you can create a diabetes reality show or play. These are just a starting point today – there are no right or wrong ways to get creative!

Ooooorrrrr..........The Wild Card:

Click for the Dream Diabetes Device Wildcard Link List
Back by popular demand, let's revisit this prompt from last year! Tell us what your fantasy diabetes device would be? Think of your dream blood glucose checker, delivery system for insulin or other meds, magic carb counter, etc etc etc. The sky is the limit – what would you love to see?

Since I’m not artsy fartsy I’m playing the wild card topic today and skipping out on the artistic way to describe diabetes. I’m not musically talented so I’m not writing, recording or having anything to do with creating a song about diabetes. I used to be good at poems, but not so much anymore. I can’t think for the life of me what rhymes with diabetes. I can’t draw or paint, so no pictures for me. Maybe if I had thought about it more I would have created a collage or something but that’s not happening.

So I’m choosing the topic: Dream Diabetes Device.

It would be have to be a pump, meter, CGM combo that was like a smaller thicker looking iphone. With colored touch screen and all! I mean really, what’s up with the 90’s looking pager going on that’s in my pocket at all times. Really? What year is it, and this is the best that they can come up with? A combo that is touch screen, logs EVERYTHING . No more finger pricks, there is a sensor attached to the infusion set somehow that gives readings to the pump, therefore no separate CGM sites for those lucky enough to be able to have a CGM. (My insurance won’t cover it and I would have to pay $600.00 every 90 days just for the sensors. Sucky!!!) There would be no need for a separate CGM or sensors. Nice!!! It would also do all the same things that a standard pump/link meter/CGM/ibig star/Dexcom and every other gadget out there that is supposed to help us keep track of what is going on with our bodies so that we can keep on living. Oh, and it would also conveniently come with a remote, (not an additional charge like if I want to get one for my MiniMed pump), to make things like wearing a dress so much stinking easier. It would also come with two recharchable batteries so that there is no purchasing AAA batteries all the time.  So yup, this is what I’m thinking of. Wish I had the brains, $$$ and knowledge to create that. Imagine……………………

D-Blog Week Day #5 Freaky Friday

D-Blog Week Day #5

Freaky Friday - Friday 5/17
Just like in the movie, today we’re doing a swap. If you could switch chronic diseases, which one would you choose to deal with instead of diabetes? And while we’re considering other chronic conditions, do you think your participation in the DOC has affected how you treat friends and acquaintances with other medical conditions? (Thanks to Jane of Jane K. Dickinson, RN, PhD, CDE and Bob of T Minus Two for this topic suggestion.)

This is a really hard one. I don’t know a whole lot about other chronic illnesses. I’ve googled and looked some up and I don’t know that I can say I would switcheroo. At first I thought about arthritis, but I hate pain so don’t know that I want to go there. Narcolepsy, yeah, I kinda like being able to drive and live a somewhat normal life, at least with “D” I can do “normal” probably better than if I was narcoleptic. Don’t get me wrong, I love sleep!  Heart conditions……Well, I have a really good friend who has heart problems and I have seen what she has gone through before getting pregnant, trying to get pregnant , with her pregnancy, and now that she has had little guy. I don’t really know that I would want to go through all of that.

 If there was a chronic disease that consisted of living off of chocolate, I think I could handle that. 

                                                                      Oh  Yeah!!!

Or not being able to grow hair on my legs or under my arms, how sweet would that be?! The chronic disease that keeps a woman from having to shave her legs and arm pits! Now that I would choose.

                       Unfortunately this would be me if I didn't shave every few days. :(  Gross!!!

 Both of those sound more like super powers though and we were not asked about what super power we would choose. We were asked about what actual chronic disease we would switch with. I’m sure that there has to be some sort of chronic disease out there that is better than diabetes, but I don’t know what that would be.

Second part of this…..Has the DOC (Diabetes online community) affected how I treat others with chronic conditions? I think for me that yes, a little. It’s been more of a combination of the DOC and taking my own health more seriously over the past few months and being reminded how I felt when I was first diagnosed. Starting on the pump just in February has brought all sorts of things to my attention and made me more aware and more sensitive to what people say to me, in turn I’m realizing that I need to be more sensitive to others who have chronic health issues that I know nothing about.  I know that I must have at some point in my 30 years of kickin it in this life of mine, I must have said something insensitive and offensive to someone about their health condition. For that, I am greatly sorry for and I wish I could take it back or go back and apologize if I knew what I had said that had hurt that person and who they are. Recently someone I know was getting some tests done for the possibility of pre-diabetes and cholesterol and a bunch of things. Turns out it was a vitamin D deficiency and high cholesterol. This person had posted stuff on Face Book about it, and I had initially asked questions before the test results came back. When they did come back, I wanted to say something, but was at a loss  because I didn't want to say anything that would be hurtful or insensitive even though I would definitely not intentionally say anything of the sort. I would want to say something encouraging and positive, but anything that came to mind just seemed too cheesy and dumb. So I said nothing.  Just because someone may have something going on with them that is not diabetes does not mean that it’s not serious or that it’s not something that really affects them. It may not be the same, but we all still need to be sensitive to others because we don’t understand. Sure, maybe I wanted to says, “Yay! It’s only a vitamin D deficiency and high cholesterol. “, but saying “it’s only”, not cool. I don’t ever want to say that to someone unless it’s like an ingrown toe nail! Maybe there are not shots involved, or a device hooked up to them at all times, maybe someone with another chronic health issue doesn't have to be as in tune with their body as I do, but that doesn't mean that there are no emotional affects to what they have and are going through. That’s what I am learning and trying me best to keep in mind. That I can’t see what they live with, that I can’t see how it affects them mentally, emotionally or physically. So sensitivity, YES!!! Yes to others, yes for me. Please and thank you!

D-Blog Week Day #4 Accomplishments Big and Small

D-Blog Week Day 4

Accomplishments Big and Small
We don't always realize it, but each one of us has come a long way since diabetes first came into our lives. It doesn't matter if it's been 5 weeks, 5 years or 50 years, you've done something outstanding diabetes-wise. So today let's share the greatest accomplishment you've made in terms of dealing with your (or your loved one's) diabetes. No accomplishment is too big or too small-think about self acceptance, something you've mastered (pump/exercise/diet/etc.), making a tough care decision (finding a new endo or support group/ choosing to use or not use technology/etc.) (Thanks to Hilary of Rainie and Me for this topic suggestion.)


My accomplishment that I have chosen is overcoming the shame. That may sound weird, but not knowing anyone else with diabetes other than both of my grandpas who were type 2 and I'm type 1, it's not really hard to come up with reasons to feel ashamed or embarrassed. I'ts only been in the past few months that I'm really talking about it more and not trying to hide it. I'm not trying to hide my pump so much anymore, or when I pull out my meter and take my BG I don't care what anyone around me thinks. I don't care that when I go on my walks that under my work out shirt around my waist is a weird bulge where I have my pump. Why should I hide any of this? I wouldn't talk about it because of the looks I see on peoples faces or the comments that were made when I would talk about it. Boredom, annoyance, are common looks, or they had a grandparent or a 5th cousin or an aunt once removed with type 2 and then I get comments about them losing a limb or don't I just have to take pills, or not eat sugar. You know, the common comments that come from people that are uninformed. That's what I have to remind myself of as I talk to people about my "D", that they are just uninformed. And I will talk about it, I'm not going to stop, I'm not going to hide any part of it. So being ashamed is a no, maybe only if I do something off the wall and crazy when I have a low, but even then I can blame the "D" for it. I actually even cracked a joke the other day blaming my diabetes, of course no one else around me got it or found it funny. I just got dumb looks, but that's okay, because if you really want to understand me, you have to understand the diabetes because it explains a lot about me. I'm not ashamed because anyone that truly cares about me will care about the diabetes and that I take care of  myself and listen to what I have to say.  Diabetes is not who I am, it doesn't define me but it's a huge part of my life and it's a part that I'm not ashamed of anymore. So you can take it or leave it, it's up to you.

D-Blog Week Day #3 Memories

It’s D-Blog week and even though I’m two days behind, and I don’t know how many other days out of the week I will blog I will try my best to keep up. I figure, being a new blogger and wanting to get into the diabetes online community (D.O.C.) there is no better way. So here goes nothing!

D-Bog Week: Memories

Today we’re going to share our most memorable diabetes day. You can take this anywhere.... you or your loved one's diagnosis, a bad low, a bad high, a big success, any day that you’d like to share. (Thanks to Jasmine of Silver-Lined for this topic suggestion.)

My Memory...... I’m going to choose the day I met my CDE, Debbie. I know I have written a lot on this already but this is a little more in depth. It’s only been since this past February 8^th that I got my pump, and it’s been rocky. My endo at the time was horrible and it wasn’t until I had an appointment with another specialist a few weeks later that I started to discover just how bad he was. This new specialist hooked me up with Debbie who I couldn’t get in to see for a month and a half after I got my pump. I had never seen a CDE in the almost 5 years that I had been diagnosed, it was never suggested by my bad endo. When I met with Debbie it was like I was starting to breathe again when I hadn’t even realized that I wasn’t breathing to begin with. She spent 90 minutes with me going over in detail everything on my pump. By the time I met with her I had already done the online learning on Medtronic’s website, which was something she had recommended when we talked on the phone to set up my appointment. Something that my old endo had not deemed necessary. She treated me like a human, a person that is smart and gets it and who wants to learn and take care of themselves. Not just another appointment or co-pay. When I decided to get a pump it was like being diagnosed all over again, actually it wasn’t necessarily the day that I got the pump but between the time I talked to Deb on the phone about setting up the appointment and finally getting to meet with her. Once I met with her I realized I have a lot to learn, but she was so encouraging and the back up and support that I need. She has been a constant encouragement every week now that she has me send in my BG for the week. She gets it, because she also has T1D. It’s nice to finally feel like I have someone in my corner.

I Got It!!!

I finally got my book in the mail that I've been waiting for! So excited! I know my hubby will be like "Another one, you got another book?" I have two others I'm reading right now. Guess what I'm doing on my lunch break. :)
I thought that this quote in the very front of the book was pretty cool.

T1D Moms!

After my last posting, and with it being mothers day weekend and coming accross the following blog that I thought was just perfect I have to share it! Totaly encouraging for someone who is looking at and planning for the future as a diabetic wishing to be a mom some day. So I thought that I woudl share if you care to take a look and get other perspectives and not just mine. These are from women who have and are doing it and rocking it! If they can, so can I!!!

http://sixuntilme.com/blog2/2013/05/your_mom_has_diabetes.html


On a totaly seperate note, as I’ve mentioned before, I’ve been very uneducated on my “D”. My newest thing that I’m trying really hard to follow, is the 15/15 rule. If I’m low, treat it with 15 grams of carbs and check again in 15 minutes to see if I’m good. This rule also needs to be followed by eating fast acting carbs like starbursts or Lifesavers. I’ve realized in the last couple of days that 4 Starburst tends to do the trick as well as 6 or 7 Lifesavers. Unfortunately anything chocolate or the granola bars that I’m use to carrying really should not be an option. Both are slow acting carbs, chocolate because it’s very fatty and granola because it’s a grain. Both of those can cause me to overdo it in the long run. This explains why I tend to go from 55 to 250 a lot of times and have a hard time correcting things. Dumb! So I asked Brad to pick up Starbursts or LifeSavers while he was at the store yesterday. Bad thing is that in our house hold sweets don't last long because he has an awful sweet tooth. So I walk into the living room at one point last night and there are Starburst wrappers on the coffee table. Guess we will see how long my "emergency" candy lasts.

Never Ending

I know that my last post was kinda blah. I’m trying really hard to remind myself that no matter how much I may explain this disease to someone who does not have it, they will never get it, never be able to understand the depths of monitoring myself it takes. Only another T1D (that actually takes care of themselves and there is even a difference between men and women because of all the ways that hormones affect things) can fully understand the emotional, physical, and mental toll it takes. Even on a good day there are the thoughts like not wanting to eat when I see a good BG because I don’t want to mess it up.  I’ve mentioned all the reading I’m doing, well it’s because I want to be able to have a baby some day and trying to get myself to that point is a whole lot of work. There, I said it. There are fears for any first time mom, but add diabetes, especially pre-existing, and it’s downright scary. I’m not reading a bunch of horror stories but the cold hard facts that I need to be aware of. Like the book that I just started, (because you can never be too prepared ahead of time) “Balancing Pregnancy With Pre-Existing Diabetes." It’s really good, but really overwhelming. She is a T1D that has had a healthy pregnancy and baby and done her research and interviewed a lot of others that have been through it, as well as doctors. She is very encouraging that it is possible with lots of very hard work and discipline. She also tells the facts. I know a lot of the risks with having high BG and how that affects a baby's development in the womb, not just being large, but causing birth defects. But low BG can slow development. Therefore staying within 90-100 while pregnant is key. Being below 86 a lot slows the development. It's impossible to stay on target at all times. Until there is a cure, because insulin is NOT a cure, up and down we will go. I talked to my CDE Debbie today. I  copied the email she sent me. Things like this make me feel validated. It's too easy to think that I'm taking "D" too seriously when I have no one else who can relate.


"Jessi,
You will see cyclic changes in BG premenstrual when progesterone levels are high and BG will run higher. Likewise,when your period starts, some women have lower BG the first days of menses. This is a great time for temp basal when some women will decrease basal to 90% the frist 48 hours of period or some, even the day before as cycle gets more predictable.
You will begin to see these changes and know they are happening when your are cycling regularly.
So much to learn with diabetes and your health but you're getting lots of info.
Increase basal at 8 am to .6 and follow up weekly."


On another note next week is diabetes blog week within the diabetes online community. I'm excited about that. More on that to follow.

Not Alone

It's been about a week since I've written. Honestly have not had anything to write, at lest nothing that I can let the world know about. I've been digging into research and reading articles and blogs of others that have been going through everything I'm dealing with and that's my saving grace. Knowing that I'm not the only one. Along with getting to talk to in the last 24hrs a couple of women that I truly admire and trust. I'm reading a book now and at one point she it's talking about new pump users and describes it as being diagnosed all over again. Crazy! I think I hit Brad in the arm when I read that cuz that's exactly what I've been saying!!!! With all this information, much needed info by the way, I'm overwhelmed, encouraged, frustrated, angry, confused and defiantly cry at times. My BG has improved since last week drastically. Pretty sure it's messed up harmones that had me sky rocketing. Last I had talked to Debbie, my CDE was a week ago tomorrow and she told me to touch base with her on the following Friday if things were not looking better. By then they were so I didn't contact her. Well she called me at work today to make sure I'm doing okay. That really blessed me! I told her I'm emailing my numbers tomorrow and things are looking better. Guess we will see what tomorrow brings.