BFF My CDE & Fighting For A Cause

When I sent my BG log into Debbie today, here is her email back to me. This is why I love her and she is totally my diabetes BFF.

“Jess, I missed you on the phone just now.

Congratulations on a ton of hard work to get your A1C there!!!! No one but you understands how hard you are working at it.

It's too bad you can't put it on a billboard or something to get some recognition.

Continue your same rates and follow up in 1-2 weeks.

again, great job”

                                                        Add my A1C  here!!! 5.7

In other news, so I haven’t signed up yet or really started trying to do anything regarding the JDRF walk in October. I feel like if I start too soon people will just forget and it may be easier to raise money and get others to walk as the time gets closer. Plus, since I have never done anything like this before I really don’t know what to expect, a little nervous it’s going to be totally geared towards kids and that I’m going to feel out of place. I really want to be able to make some connections with some other T1Ds so I don’t want to be disappointed.  At the same time, that’s kind of selfish thinking on my part. When I think about it I want to go and raise money for a cure for this disease that so many are being afflicted by and I want to do what I can to help and raise awareness. With this being said, it’s giving me a new awareness and making me more willing to help others out who are fighting for a cure for another senseless disease . My sister and her fiancé are doing an Alzheimer walk the end of August that I would totally be at if I was going to be in town. My hubby is in a soccer tournament next weekend for Leukemia.  At first, in my selfishness and since we are always so busy I really wasn’t too keen on the idea of another full weekend, but the more I think about it the more I don’t care if it’s another busy weekend. Helping to raise money for a cure for Leukemia is just as important as diabetes. So I’m supporting him and I will be there with bells on, cheering him and the others on.  I know that things like cancers, Alzheimer’s  and other diseases that are more visible to others in a person’s body seem to get more funding, but if I have the opportunity to help with another fund raiser I’m going to be on it like cheese on macaroni! If I want people to help and support for a cure for diabetes I have to be willing to give back as well to others who are also fighting for a cure for an illness that affects them or their loved ones. Although diabetes is of course my first top priority and I want people to join me in the fight,  I’m going to give back and help others fight in their battles when I can.

Happy Dance (With A Little Dash of Guilt)

Thursday was my doctor’s appointment, I have yet to get a referral and make an appointment with a new endo. I did however get my test results back for my hypothyroid and my A1C. Before I go any further let me explain what exactly an A1C test is for those of you reading that do not know.

“The A1C test gives you a picture of your average blood glucose control for the past 2 to 3 months. The results give you a good idea of how well your diabetes treatment plan is working.
In some ways, the A1C test is like a baseball player's season batting average, it tells you about a person's overall success. Neither a single day's blood test results nor a single game's batting record gives the same big picture.

How Does it Work?

Hemoglobin, a protein that links up with sugars such as glucose, is found inside red blood cells. Its job is to carry oxygen from the lungs to all the cells of the body. Glucose enters your red blood cells and links up (or glycates) with molecules of hemoglobin. The more glucose in your blood, the more hemoglobin gets glycated. By measuring the percentage of A1C in the blood, you get an overview of your average blood glucose control for the past few months. Your doctor should measure your A1C level at least twice a year.”

I pulled this explanation from the American Diabetes Association website:  http://www.diabetes.org/living-with-diabetes/treatment-and-care/blood-glucose-control/a1c/

Now that’s out of the way………. My thyroid came back great, no need to increase my meds. Yay! Now onto the BIG ONE!!!!

Drum roll please……..BBBBBBDDDDDDRRRRRRRRRmmmmmmmmmm

5.7!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wait what? Come again? What did you say Ms. Nurse? Are you sure the numbers are not backwards and it’s not 7.5???? REALLY? Truly?! You’re not lying?????

I really didn't ask any of that, I was too stunned! I think I may have said, “Really, for real?” but I was pretty much speechless. She of course said keep up the hard work and continue doing whatever it is that I’m doing. I didn't know if I should get up and hoop and holler, yell and scream, laugh or cry. Work was loud, I called from my desk at work, there was drama and work issues going on around me and I knew that no one would appreciate my excitement anyway. No one other than another T1D can possibly understand. Also, only another T1 can possibly understand the guilt that has followed. Yes, I said guilt. I hesitate to publish this and let my fellow DOCers read this, because that makes me feel bad knowing how hard ya’ll are trying to get lower than 7 in order to try and have babies, and just take care of yourselves, I feel a little bad knowing and understanding your struggles. Then the other guilt kicks in…. I've been having a crap ton of lows, so is that why I’m at 5.7, a number that I should be celebrating??? As a “D” I always hear about the severe long term affects of an A1C of 8 and higher, that’s nothing new. But recently I heard something regarding the long term affects of lots of lows. I have yet to really read up on that, and I really should take time out and do so, but I just haven’t. I really shouldn't be taking time out to write this, but it’s all going round and round in my head like a merry-go-round. So the guilt comes into play regarding the lows. What’s going on to my internal organs being low so much of the time? I mean, since getting my pump pretty close to fine tuned, over the last few weeks I seem to catch myself at a low before I reach below 60, I am able to feel them coming on, so is being low all the time not so bad? I dunno. So as much as I want to laugh with glee and delight at this fantabulouse number, I also wanted to cry. I still do want to do both, but have yet to really do either.

 So in that case I'm going to choose to take this baby's advice, because really, this is more of a reason to smile about anything diabetes related that I've had in a long time!

Friday's Five

1. I know that I've said it before, but right now it's prob my biggest pet peeve. I don't have enough test strips to last me till when insurance thinks I should order again. I know this is going to sound awful, but....This is an instance that I think whoever makes the desicions in health care and insurance should live the life of a T1, actually all chronic illnesses, for a year and then make better choices for those of us that live it.

2. Pump/Better Management. No, better management of the “D” will not make it “go away”. No the pump does not prevent highs and lows. No being on the pump has not “screwed things up more than before I was on the pump”. I was just high all the time and didn’t know because of bad self management and lack of education on the lovely “D”. Therefore I do tend to have more lows now and I can feel the highs sooner. This is something I will be dealing with for the rest of my life unless there is a cure. Even if the bionic pancreas becomes available and I am somehow able to financially afford it I will still be dealing with this disease it just may not be as much of a pain/hassle anymore. Life as a D will never be boring, this is how it will be for the rest of my life unless one of the other two things I just mentioned happens. So why does it seem like it’s just now a pain and I talk about it more? Again, bad education, not realizing how bad my BGs were, and I’ve finally come to terms that this is my life, this is who I am, this is what I deal with so if you are going to be around me you will hear about the “D” occasionally. I’ve only just started blogging in the last few months because of all of the above.

3. Now that I’m really trying to pay attention to how things affect my BG I noticed that I think ice cream, even when I think I’ve bolused accordingly, hours later I’m high as the top of the St. Louis Arch! Two nights in a row I had it after dinner a good 3 hours before going to bed. First night I was at 98 and second night I was at 107 right before bed. Get up next morning and first morning I was at 198 second morning I was at 250.

4. I really wish that I was at the Friends For Life Conference in Orlando right now. I would have also loved to have attended the Annul Diabetes conference in Chicago a few weeks ago. I’m hoping to attended them someday and also hoping something comes to my area. That would ROCK!

5. It’s Blue Friday, which is diabetes awareness and I usually don’t wear blue. I honestly never think about it and I don’t own much that is blue. I just realized that today, I’m actually wearing blue! Good job me!!!

Thankful Thursday - Doc Appt

Is it weird that I want to get together with both my CDE and my Perinatologist (acting as my endo for now, but not for long) sit around a bon fire with Crispin ciders and chat about all things diabetes and feel understood? This is what I'm thankful for no matter how weird that sounds. My appointment today was encouraging and almost made me feel giddy. Doc was very pleased with my BGs from the last 6 weeks and the improvement since starting on the pump and talking to Debbie on a weekly basis. I'm getting blood work for my A1C and thyroid and I will know the results early next week. Yay! I'm not going to even say what I think my A1C may be, but I'm optomistic. Instead of treating myself to something like icecream as I have before to treat myself as a reward, this time I treated myself to Lush. If you don't know what Lush is you should! It's an all natural cosmetics store that I am addicted to. I needed facial cleanser anyway so I just went ahead an treated myself an bought their body conditioner which will make my skin feel like a dream. I figure that treating myself to this is better not only for my skin but for my BGs. This doc did say he is going to give me a refèral for an endo so that does make me sad, but I'm just so  thankful toay went as well as it did.

Randomness

According to my Glucose Buddy app on my phone I have checked my BG 374 times since May 28 2013! Also, according to the graph my average glucose level is 124!!!! That makes me feel 1000x better about my really sucky control days when I can't seem to get out of the 180 's - 200s for anything.

I have a doctor's appointment on Thursday and I'm really anxious to know what my A1C really is. Which leads me to my next thing... I'm not really even sure he will be able to tell me because he is actually a perinatologist not an endo. When we had the consult back in February and we discussed what bad care I had been getting with my endo this doc said he would act as my endo from now all the way until I give birth. As great as he and his CDE Debbie are and I hate to go to yet another doctor,  I'm not pregnant yet and I have no idea how soon I will be. So, I think I'm going to have to broach the subject of him referring me to an endo. Maybe that was something we should have discussed when I firt met with him, but it wasn't till I met with Debbie that I decided to fire my endo. Next to getting on the pump that was probably one of the best choices that I have made regarding my diabetes. I'm nervous and apprehensive about this appointment. I'm so sick of bad, uncaring doctors. I really liked this one back when we first met with him in February, but since that was just a consult on my T1D and what steps we need to take regarding that before trying to get pregnant, I'm really not sure what to expect since this time I need to go for an endo check up.I'm just praying for grace and not another doctor who doesn't listen to me and my needs.

Bad Night

Our 4th of July was pretty laid back. Went swimming with friends, came home and BBQ'd and had Brad's dad over. We decided since we were both supposed to be working the next day we would to go see fireworks on Friday night. An hour after dinner Thursday night I was 145 which is nothig to worry about after a meal. I started to feel my sugar rising a short while later. I went to bed at 10:30 with a bg of 178 and did a correction bolus. When Brad came to bed at midnight I had jumped at 289 and I could tell. I had the whole groggy, sandy eyes, wanting to drink enough water to fill the ocean feeling going on. I knew that it was just going to keep climbing. I had kept my sight in an extra day and planned to change it the next day. So in my groggy crappy feeling state of mind I just went ahead and gave myself a correction. It of course wasn't until after that I realized there had to be something wrong with my site. So standing in the bathroom I was crying cuz I am so over this junk and realized it was going to be a long night. I ripped out my old site, which did in fact have a bent canula' (the plastic part under my skin), and it looked like the insulin I had just tried to give myself to correct things just pooled out when the site came out. I gave myself more, but then of course had no idea if I then had too much in my system if any had gone in the first time. I made the decision to set my alarm for an hour later to be sure I wasn't dropping too quickly. Thats how the rest of my night basically went. Getting barely any sleep between hourly to sometimes half hour alarms. At 3:00 I was down to 156 and at 3:30 I was 113, dropping too fast and really hoping for some sleep so I sucked down a juice, and set my pump on a temp bolus for the next hour and a half at 0. Good choice because when I woke up at 6:00 I was at 130. Things got better bg wise, but I guess I got a stomach bug cus I was so sick the rest of the morning which made me so thankful that I had gotten everything worked out with my pump just a few hours before. Since my site was several days old and I had not had an issue until  then I think it got bent when Brad came up behind me and grabbed my side where I hade the site a little too roughly.

Friday's Five

1. I went swimming yesterday, checked myself hourly, gave a bolus each hour since I wasn't getting basal and I did great! Stayed about 130ish the whole afternoon. That was a huge improvement and something for me to be proud of compared to the last time.

2. I really want to know if other pump companies do as many recalls as Medtronic. Seems like there is some sort of recall to do with my pump every other week. This time it's the resivours, but thankfully no worries, mine are not among the bad  batch.

3. Last night was the first time I've had a stomache bug since being on the pump.I have  been able to keep better control of my numbers and not worry about having to eat or not eat. I only ate when my tummy was finally ready.

4. It's so crazy how the tiny tiniest thing can screw up a great BG day. That's why managment and maintenance is SO HUGE with this disease. My great BG day yesterday, considering swimming and the holiday went to crap with a site failure after dinner.

5. I feel validated that my memory has gone to crap because of the "D". I read something last night that said people with T1 have to make an average of 350 desisions a day regarding their T1 managment. That's only the decision! That's not including all the other ideotic thaughts and worries that go along with T1.