Babies….they are everywhere, and sometimes I really wish I wasn’t seeing them. Or pregnant woman. I’ve pretty much been staying off of Face Book due to a whole lot of reasons, (people annoy the crap out of me on there), but seeing all the pictures of people’s babies and toddlers (with the exception of my niece and nephew or a good friend’s son who I know she went through a lot herself to have him), or finding out someone is pregnant for like the 5TH TIME IS REALLY HARD! Or hearing about someone that’s pregnant that really is too young, too irresponsible or I know hates kids and it’s really dang hard not to get mad and pissed off. I’m just being honest, it’s my blog and I can say it.
With everything that we/I’ve been going through, both physically and emotionally to try and have a little person sometimes I really don’t know how much more I can possibly take. A year ago when I got my insulin pump and started trying even harder and being even more anal than I’ve always been about my diet, exercise and blood sugars when we started trying for a baby I thought that was really hard and emotional. As each month wore on and still no pregnancy, the disappointment mounting, but depending on how many really bad high blood sugar days in a row I had I might have actually been slightly relieved.
When I got my CGM in
December, yes that has made things easier, but at the same time it did make
things harder and feel a little more out of my control and emotionally
stressful seeing what my BGs are constantly doing.