It's Not My Fault

Tuesday nights since seeing Debbie my diabetes educator I log my BG levels. Because of all the highs I get discouraged when I see the log that I have written out for the week. I feel like I'm sitting on pins and needles until I hear from Debbie once she receives my log on Wednesday morning. She calls me, has me adjust my settings on my insulin pump and encourages me that it's not my fault, that it will never be perfect but will get better if I keep doing what I'm doing. Up until yesterday, after she adjusted my pump settings last week my numbers were better than they have been in ages! I was getting excited! Then last night before dinner I was low, an hour after dinner I was low. I drank a juice box, felt really out of it. Brad wouldn't leave the house for where he needed to be until he could tell I was okay. I was pretty out of it for a few minutes. Thought the juice box was kicking in, forgot to check myself again till about an hour later and I had dropped more. I sucked down another juice box, that seemed to help but then I got high for a bit then bed time I was low again. Eeerrrrgggg.... This morning was worse though. An hour after breakfast I checked, 122 was my BG, not bad at all. In a half hour I dropped from that to 48! How is that even possible? I was sitting at my desk all morning, not running a marathon! Got myself straightened out after that for most of the day but tonight have been low. I'll feel better after talking to Debbie tomorrow I hope. I also have my appointment with the dietitian. I'm excited for that. I know that this is forever a continuing education and I will never stop learning about T1D. I'm sure I'll be writing tomorrow. I guess tonight I just needed to vent. I think I need to get another snack.