Fridays Five

1. I finally broke down and got more test strips off of Ebay. They seem to work fine and they tested okay with the solution.

2. I'm actually wearing blue again today and it's blue Friday and didn't even think about it.

3. Worried for my sister and her fiancée. They are at the ER right now because he passed out last night and fell down steps. Docs are running blood work and tests. Guess depending on what they find or how long they are there I may be up at the hospital tonight.

4. I've determined for sure that if I want ice cream I have to have it early in the day so I can monitor and not let my bg get high over night.

5. I really need to post a review on the Monica Vesci clutch I won through Kim's blog www.textingmypancreas.com. Maybe this weekend?

Thankful Thursday: The D.O.C.

My Thankful Thursday topic today is the D.O.C. , the Diabetes Online Community.

I only started blogging back in March of this year. In the beginning of the year we were moving towards me getting on the pump which was a huge change. February is when I got it, and it was like being diagnosed all over again. It was like my eyes were all of the sudden opened after having T1 for 4 ½ years, it all of the sudden became more real. Firing my old endo after having a consolation with my perinatologist and then meeting with my now CDE, it was as if, or maybe even worse than when I was first diagnosed. I think in one way it was because it was then that I was realizing that I hadn't been doing all that I thought I was for my health and diabetes for those 4 ½ years like I thought I was. I felt like a failure, it hit me that this is forever and not going away. With all of this, I felt like I was being pulled into a dark hole and didn't know how to stop or if I would be able to get out. I don’t want to say that I was depressed, but I was getting pretty close to it. I remember it was March 16^th and we stopped by the grocery store after going downtown for the St. Patrick’s Day race. I was in the checkout line and Brad had gone to grab one last thing while I waited in line. When he came back he had a magazine in hand, Diabetic Living, and asked if I wanted it, it has some yummy looking recipe on the front so I flipped through it and said sure. It was in this magazine that I found an article on Kim @ www.textingmypancrease.com. The magazine had a section where they had talked to people who were making an impact in the lives of PWD (People with diabetes). She was talking about her story, and about the DOC. So I found her site and immediately became obsessed! As I read through her blogs it was the first time in those 4 ½ years that I finally felt like I wasn't completely alone in this. My heart felt like it was about to break out of my chest as the tears of loneliness ran down my cheeks. I felt validated for the first time for all my thoughts, feelings and emotions about this disease. I realized I wasn't weak, I wasn't dumb, I wasn't taking things too seriously, I wasn't a failure and again, most importantly I wasn't alone, I wasn't the only one. As I read her blogs somewhere along the way I found others, Kerri @ www.sixuntilme.com, Reva @ www.typeonderful.blogspot.com, Laura @ http://a1conceive.wordpress.com/ and so many others. I started blogging myself, I think before I even found any of the other blogs. Kim’s was the only one at the time and the one that inspired me. When I started blogging I thought of it as way to let things out, a way to vent without always letting it out on my husband or just holding it in. It was also a way to educate family and friends around me. Since it had been years, I think people around me just didn't think anything of it, especially since I never really talked that much about the “D”, at least not like I do now. So I created this blog partially to educate others around me because it’s hard to bring up my lovely friend “D” to my other friends most of the time, but I want, no….. I NEED others around me to understand this. So with these reasons, those are why I started this blog, never expecting to really get connected with other T1’s or even really find anyone else out there other than Kim’s blog. That’s where I was in for an unexpected, much needed surprise. I found the D.O.C. and it has been my saving grace! I may never come into physical contact with any of these people, I may not ever have my own huge following, it may just be a couple of other T1’s that I connect with, but that’s okay. I read so many on my own and sometimes this is enough to encourage and inspire me. I never joined a support group because I was afraid that it would be something like what I've seen on TV or movies where everyone sits around crying all the time. Yes, I cry, but I don’t want to be brought down, I need to be lifted up and that’s what happens when I read others stories. They may all be different and unique but at the same time we are all the same. So that’s what I’m thankful for today, I’m thankful for a place where I know I’m understood and not alone.

Strip Tease

July DSMA (Diabetes Social Media Advocacy)Blog Carnival

Thanks to Karen Graffeo

Blood glucose.  It’s front and center when it comes to diabetes.  It is how we get diagnosed and it is what we are trying to manage.  An important tool we use to manage our blood glucose is our meter and its strips.  But what happens if our meters aren’t giving reliable information?  Let’s explore that this month as we discuss a topic from the June 26th chat Fill in the Blank.  Weigh in on the following statement:

Test strip accuracy is important to me because______.

I'm jumping on the band wagon and I'm joining in on the blog carnival this month. So here is my input.

Why did I title it "Strip Tease"? Well for one, to grab your attention, and another because that's how I have felt multiple times when testing myself lately. It has felt like a tease, like I see a number on my meter that I don't believe is really correct and it's saying "Nahny nahny boo boo, guess where your BG is at!" and that's a scary game to play. That is why test strip accuracy is frustrating because it's not accurate. Test strips can be +/- 20% accuracy range! Hello?! How can there not be something wrong with that? For example, here is a problem that I had recently. One day at work I was feeling like I might possibly be running low. So, I checked myself on my main meter, my One Touch Ultra Mini. 32 is the number that popped up on the screen. I didn't believe it, I didn't feel like that could be possible. So I pricked another finger and checked with my back up Bayer Link meter that links to my pump. It read 68, not so bad and way off from 32. I decided to check again on my One Touch. This time, it read 45. Anyone else think that's nutso? Really, how can there be that huge of a range? I treated myself for the 68 because I didn't want to over do it. I was fine after that, but what if I really was in the lower range? What if I was not aware of or exhibiting symptoms of a severe low and because of the huge range difference that my meters were displaying I didn't get enough sugar into my body right away and I had continued to drop? That could potentially lead to me passing out, seizures or a coma. Test strip accuracy can be thrown off by multiple things, dirty hands, expiration dates, temperature that they are stored in, prolonged exposure to air and I'm sure that there is more that I'm just not aware of. This isn't the only time that I've had a problem like this. There was another time that I was really probably  more around the 45 range, but when I first tested it came up at 26. That freaked me out so bad on top of feeling low that I downed 2 juice boxes right off the bat not even thinking about it and was about to down a third when my fantastic and level headed hubby stepped in and stopped me and told me to check again, that maybe that number really wasn't correct. Since it hadn't even been 5 minutes, I know that the juice had not kicked in yet when I checked again. This second time checking my meter read 45. Two juice boxes probably over did it because I ran high the rest of the night. Imagine, if I had drank a third juice box how miserable I would have been that night. These are just stories of lows showing inaccurately on meters.It can be to the other extreme as well. Image thinking you are 300, going to treat that and really you are 240 or 360? When taking insulin that is a drastic difference as well, you can be over treating a high and end up bottoming out because your meter said you were higher that you truly were or you end up not getting low enough because in reality, you were higher than what your meter read. Thank you FDA for not having enough rules and regulations in place with the strip companies, and thank you strip companies for being all about the money and not my safety, our safety. 

To find out more about test strips safety issues: http://www.stripsafely.com/

“This post is my July entry in the DSMA Blog Carnival.  If you’d like to participate too, you can get all of the information at http://diabetessocmed.com/2013/july-dsma-blog-carnival-3/“

A Day In My Life

I think that no matter if a non diabetic reads this blog, each and everyone of my posts, that there is still no way for them to comprehend what living life is really like. Someone who reads this and doesn't have diabetes, asked me a question the other day and that question is what inspired me to write this post the way that I am. This is an average "D" day for me.

5:30am alarm goes off: I roll over and down my thyroid med with a bottle of water then go back to sleep. ("D's" are at a 50% higher risk of developing thyroid disease. It also helps that it runs in my family. Thanks mom for those great genes!)

7:10am I wake up, check my BG and bolus accordingly for breakfast.

7:30am I eat my breakfast of blue berries and Trader Joe’s multi grain oat meal or an egg and cheese on a multi grain high in fiber, (cause fiber helps keep a diabetic in even better health!) English muffin with an orange.(I've found sticking to these two breakfast options help keep my morning at least on track, for the most part) 

8:00am take my harmon pills for my dysfunctional pituitary gland that decided 2 years ago, (Holy cow it’s been 2 years already?!!!) to stop producing the harmon that sends the signal to my kidneys so that they know when to stop producing urine and I don’t pee 14 Lt in 24 hours. Yes, I did just say 14, that is correct, that would be the amount of seven 2 liter bottles of soda. Yup, that’s my weirdo body for ya! Yippee!  

8:45-9:00am after getting settled in at work I check my BG, usually no extra bolusing needed.

10:00am  I check my BG again, tend to run low and have a small snack.

11:45am Check BG, calculate carbs and bolus accordingly.

12:00pm eat lunch (not as routine as breakfast. At least not for now, when pregnancy happens that might change. I hate eating the same things over and over and over again. Except for breakfast, not sure why. I LIKE variety!)

1:00-1:15pm check my BG and correct however needed if needed.

2:30-3:30pm usually check BG again and bolus/eat snack to correct things if needed.

5:30pm check BG. If  I'm at 250 this is too high for my 2 ½ mile walk so I bolus accordingly and walk it off. If below 100 eat snack and go walking. Either way I always set my temp basal on my pump, to 60% for 30  minutes if I'm above 95, and at 55% if I'm below 90. This helps to keep from dropping too much from the walk. If below 80, eat snack and skip walking. Skipping part is happening too often lately, but not always from the lows. Got sick, then it got really hot out. I need to have hubby bring my stationary bike in the basement from the garage so I can do that when it’s too hot or raining.

6:15pm get back from walk don’t check BG unless I feel low, and start dinner.

Somewhere between cooking dinner and actually eating dinner is usually when I end up replacing the reservoir with the insulin in my pump. About every 5-7  days.

6:30-7:30pm check BG before dinner, calculate carbs and bolus accordingly.

8:00pm take more harmon pills again. 

8:00-8:30pm check BG and, well by now you should know the drill. Treat high or low accordingly if needed.

Sometime between dinner and bed, usually right before I shower I change my site on my stomach or side or wherever I have it and give the spot a nice thorough cleaning. I  Usually I change it 4- 5 days, less often that what a doctor or nurse would say I should. But who is the one paying for supplies??? Not the insurance co., at least not enough. And if it’s not infected or itching so bad that it's driving me crazy and I’m getting the insulin I need then I think I’m good to go.

10:30-11:30pm Check BG before bed and take care of whatever high or  low I may have.

1:00-4:00am may wake up and check BG if feeling high or low.

This is just an average day. If you follow my blog closely though you know that I have not so “average” days quite often. Highs and lows like roller coasters, site failures, pump malfunctions, and the odd ball stuff that is unpredictable and things that just cannot be expected. Like when I came out of the bathroom stall at work the other day and the handle on the stall caught my tubing on my pump and yanked my site out. That really ticked me off good since I had just replaced it the night before. Bye bye money down the drain!  Weekends are always different, add summer activities like swimming which require removing my pump. Then I have to bolus before removing the pump to replace my basal insulin that I'm not getting while not wearing the pump and then go back and check hourly and bolus hourly to keep up with not having my robot part attached to me that is keeping me alive. I have to be sure that I have a cool dry place to store my pump as well, so if needed I have to take along a couple of ziplocks and a little cooler to store my robotic part in. So even on a "good" day, it only stays good because of all the self management. Any easy "D" day, is maybe not so easy in a none "D's" day. But 5 years, it's a lot longer than you might think, so I honestly can't really remember life before. 

Friday's Five

1. Diabetes has been pretty boring the last few days……… not complaining! I’m thankful!

2. I changed my site out last night earlier than I had planned, I’m trying to stretch out how often I change them. Seems like I’m going through infusion sets faster than I should. I changed it because it seemed to be itching more than usual and it was quite red and sore under the skin. Even Brad thought that it was pretty red. I had him look at it yesterday morning and he said it was red but maybe leave it in until today. Then last night looking at it we both thought it had gotten redder so I changed it even though I was still getting insulin. When I pulled out the site, it was a little gooey, gross, I know. Guess it was better to change then and not chance that it was on the verge of infection. It’s still redder in that spot than they usually are and it’s scabbed over. Going to keep an eye on it to make sure it doesn’t still start to get infected.

3. Last night between dinner at 7:00 and bed time at 11:00 I seemed to be staying right at 105. Weird, but good. Not had that happen before, hanging out at the exact same BG for hours on end.

4. I need to learn to use the duel/square bolus function on my pump for slow carb/fatty meals. I’ve been using the temp basal function a lot lately for slow carbs/fatty meals so that when my mealtime insulin wears off I have insulin to cover the carbs that decide to kick in hours later. This seems to be working quite well so far.

5. At this point, the heat wave doesn’t seem to be affecting my BGs too bad. I haven’t seen any drastic highs or lows. Although I haven’t been spending really any time outside. Tomorrow we will see how things go. We are going out to a friend’s farm for the day, it’s the annul post 4^th of July  fireworks and day of fun that they do. So there is fishing, possibly swimming and target practice. All in the heat, so we will see what happens.

BFF My CDE & Fighting For A Cause

When I sent my BG log into Debbie today, here is her email back to me. This is why I love her and she is totally my diabetes BFF.

“Jess, I missed you on the phone just now.

Congratulations on a ton of hard work to get your A1C there!!!! No one but you understands how hard you are working at it.

It's too bad you can't put it on a billboard or something to get some recognition.

Continue your same rates and follow up in 1-2 weeks.

again, great job”

                                                        Add my A1C  here!!! 5.7

In other news, so I haven’t signed up yet or really started trying to do anything regarding the JDRF walk in October. I feel like if I start too soon people will just forget and it may be easier to raise money and get others to walk as the time gets closer. Plus, since I have never done anything like this before I really don’t know what to expect, a little nervous it’s going to be totally geared towards kids and that I’m going to feel out of place. I really want to be able to make some connections with some other T1Ds so I don’t want to be disappointed.  At the same time, that’s kind of selfish thinking on my part. When I think about it I want to go and raise money for a cure for this disease that so many are being afflicted by and I want to do what I can to help and raise awareness. With this being said, it’s giving me a new awareness and making me more willing to help others out who are fighting for a cure for another senseless disease . My sister and her fiancé are doing an Alzheimer walk the end of August that I would totally be at if I was going to be in town. My hubby is in a soccer tournament next weekend for Leukemia.  At first, in my selfishness and since we are always so busy I really wasn’t too keen on the idea of another full weekend, but the more I think about it the more I don’t care if it’s another busy weekend. Helping to raise money for a cure for Leukemia is just as important as diabetes. So I’m supporting him and I will be there with bells on, cheering him and the others on.  I know that things like cancers, Alzheimer’s  and other diseases that are more visible to others in a person’s body seem to get more funding, but if I have the opportunity to help with another fund raiser I’m going to be on it like cheese on macaroni! If I want people to help and support for a cure for diabetes I have to be willing to give back as well to others who are also fighting for a cure for an illness that affects them or their loved ones. Although diabetes is of course my first top priority and I want people to join me in the fight,  I’m going to give back and help others fight in their battles when I can.

Happy Dance (With A Little Dash of Guilt)

Thursday was my doctor’s appointment, I have yet to get a referral and make an appointment with a new endo. I did however get my test results back for my hypothyroid and my A1C. Before I go any further let me explain what exactly an A1C test is for those of you reading that do not know.

“The A1C test gives you a picture of your average blood glucose control for the past 2 to 3 months. The results give you a good idea of how well your diabetes treatment plan is working.
In some ways, the A1C test is like a baseball player's season batting average, it tells you about a person's overall success. Neither a single day's blood test results nor a single game's batting record gives the same big picture.

How Does it Work?

Hemoglobin, a protein that links up with sugars such as glucose, is found inside red blood cells. Its job is to carry oxygen from the lungs to all the cells of the body. Glucose enters your red blood cells and links up (or glycates) with molecules of hemoglobin. The more glucose in your blood, the more hemoglobin gets glycated. By measuring the percentage of A1C in the blood, you get an overview of your average blood glucose control for the past few months. Your doctor should measure your A1C level at least twice a year.”

I pulled this explanation from the American Diabetes Association website:  http://www.diabetes.org/living-with-diabetes/treatment-and-care/blood-glucose-control/a1c/

Now that’s out of the way………. My thyroid came back great, no need to increase my meds. Yay! Now onto the BIG ONE!!!!

Drum roll please……..BBBBBBDDDDDDRRRRRRRRRmmmmmmmmmm

5.7!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wait what? Come again? What did you say Ms. Nurse? Are you sure the numbers are not backwards and it’s not 7.5???? REALLY? Truly?! You’re not lying?????

I really didn't ask any of that, I was too stunned! I think I may have said, “Really, for real?” but I was pretty much speechless. She of course said keep up the hard work and continue doing whatever it is that I’m doing. I didn't know if I should get up and hoop and holler, yell and scream, laugh or cry. Work was loud, I called from my desk at work, there was drama and work issues going on around me and I knew that no one would appreciate my excitement anyway. No one other than another T1D can possibly understand. Also, only another T1 can possibly understand the guilt that has followed. Yes, I said guilt. I hesitate to publish this and let my fellow DOCers read this, because that makes me feel bad knowing how hard ya’ll are trying to get lower than 7 in order to try and have babies, and just take care of yourselves, I feel a little bad knowing and understanding your struggles. Then the other guilt kicks in…. I've been having a crap ton of lows, so is that why I’m at 5.7, a number that I should be celebrating??? As a “D” I always hear about the severe long term affects of an A1C of 8 and higher, that’s nothing new. But recently I heard something regarding the long term affects of lots of lows. I have yet to really read up on that, and I really should take time out and do so, but I just haven’t. I really shouldn't be taking time out to write this, but it’s all going round and round in my head like a merry-go-round. So the guilt comes into play regarding the lows. What’s going on to my internal organs being low so much of the time? I mean, since getting my pump pretty close to fine tuned, over the last few weeks I seem to catch myself at a low before I reach below 60, I am able to feel them coming on, so is being low all the time not so bad? I dunno. So as much as I want to laugh with glee and delight at this fantabulouse number, I also wanted to cry. I still do want to do both, but have yet to really do either.

 So in that case I'm going to choose to take this baby's advice, because really, this is more of a reason to smile about anything diabetes related that I've had in a long time!