Wednesday, August 20, 2014

6 Years of Living Life to the Fullest!

I completely forgot this morning until after I ate half of a chocolate long john donut that today marks 6 years of living with type 1 diabetes. Or at least since my diagnosis since I believe I started developing the disease at least a year before my diagnosis. Anyway, I felt a very strong pull to eat a half of a long john, they were sitting on the kitchen table at work calling my name. I usually ignore them, I usually pass by and act as if I don’t hear them calling out to me but this morning there was no denying that they were calling to me. So I gave in. After I ate it and when I realized that today is my 6 year diaversary I didn’t feel quite so bad, kind of a celebratory way to say in your face diabetes! My Dexcom was giving me a far off after breakfast reading of 145 BG because when I checked I was only 106 so I felt okay to eat the donut despite the fact that I have been struggling a bit with keeping my BGs from rollercoastering and I’ve been higher than I’d like. Which I thought I would have another month or so before insulin resistance started to kick in due to the growing little one inside my belly along with my growing body in general, but I can only say that maybe the crazy BGs are happening because I’m on the tail end of the valley of lows that happen between the 1st trimester and beginning to mid second trimester? I don’t know.

Anyway, I can’t believe that it’s been 6 years! It seems like it was just yesterday but at the same time I feel like I’ve been living with this disease for much, much longer. As I was lying awake in bed at 3am the other night I was thinking about this disease, pregnancy, life in general and the last 6 years. When I was diagnosed just like anyone else who is told the news, I felt like my life was over. I felt like things would never be the same and I wouldn’t be able to live life to the fullest. I changed my life plans that I had had at the time to leave and move to another state for training in hopes to work and live in a 3rd world country in an orphanage, so that I could stay and take care of my health. I was confused, I was angry, I was scared and lonely. Loneliness was and can still be one of the worst things in living with diabetes. I was right in the fact that my life would change drastically, but it wasn’t over. I was getting hit at the time with all kinds of ugly things that life can throw at a person, not just the diabetes so there was a lot to take in and deal with. But I made it. Diabetes is of course still a struggle at times and always will be unless there is a cure or until the bionic pancreas comes along and helps to make life with T1D easier, but life is not over. When I look back on the past 6 years and beyond I almost feel like I just started living 6 years ago. All of the rough times have made me who I am, and I think I’m a pretty tough cookie and I like who I am.  Not only does today mark 6 years of living with type 1, it also marks 15 weeks of pregnancy and was the first day we went to take a look at and check out the first child care facility that is on our list of options for after I go back to work after maternity leave. These 6 years have been bittersweet and have had lots of learning and growing opportunities regarding diabetes and just life in general. Taking it one day at a time, especially while dealing with diabetes and pregnancy, but trying to not let T1 dictate and rule my life. Of course there are days I can’t do things like work out because of BG lows that I just can’t shake or days I just cry and freak out because of sticky highs that I can’t get down and I’m trouble shooting in my mind and trying to figure out where I went wrong to end up with that sticky high. These things are bound to happen, but that’s just part of my life now. All in all, I’m glad that my 6 year date was today. That I get to celebrate that fact that I’m alive and living to the fullest with diabetes as well as celebrate this new little life growing inside of me. Here is to the next 5 ½  months of pregnancy with Diabetes and to the rest of however many years I am blessed with to live regardless of Diabetes. If I can do it! Happy 6 years of living to me!!!

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